Every day i wake up with tremendous energy and vigour. I enjoy what i do during the day and finally when the time comes to back home i feel helpless. Dont feel like going back and face the 4 walls of my room that will not respond and not react. It doesnt matter what i say, what i do and how i feel. So i generally prefer taking a long walk.and get so tired that i dont have any time to face those 4 walls.

I realise why has this happened. This is not how I had planned things for myself. The fact is dont even have a place to go when i feel like hell.My analysis of myself also says that I am not that bad a person. so why is it really happenning.

Well I dont have an answer. I know it for sure that I will have to face it today again and I really am not looking forward to it. Surprisingly I am down but not out. There is something within me which still says things will change. Where is this positivity coming for. Is it beacause of the adversity that I have seen in the last 10 months.